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Obama condemns Koran burning plan

BBC Newsfeed - 11 min 1 sec ago
US President Barack Obama says a small church's plans to burn the Koran are a "recruitment bonanza" for al-Qaeda.
Categories: Mainstream News

Two killed by lorry on motorway

BBC Newsfeed - 13 min 3 sec ago
A lorry kills two men as they walk along the M6 close to Sandbach in Cheshire.
Categories: Mainstream News

Russia suicide bomber murders 16

BBC Newsfeed - 14 min ago
A suicide bomber has killed at least 16 people and wounded one hundred others at a market in Vladikavkaz in southern Russia, officials say
Categories: Mainstream News

Vulnerable to public sector cuts?

BBC Newsfeed - 17 min 32 sec ago
Find out how resilient areas of England might be
Categories: Mainstream News

MPs back new phone hacking probe

BBC Newsfeed - 31 min 33 sec ago
MPs back calls for a fresh parliamentary investigation into allegations of phone hacking by journalists at the News of the World.
Categories: Mainstream News

Parties unite over carriers fears

BBC Newsfeed - 36 min 7 sec ago
Scottish ministers and opposition politicians join forces in a bid to ensure the future of two Royal Navy aircraft carriers.
Categories: Mainstream News

MPs get first vote on Afghanistan

BBC Newsfeed - 39 min 59 sec ago
The Commons is to vote for the first time on whether UK troops should remain in Afghanistan - almost nine years after the war started.
Categories: Mainstream News

Trains sent on collision course

BBC Newsfeed - 42 min 5 sec ago
A Tube train was sent into the path of another train during Wednesday morning's rush hour, it emerges.
Categories: Mainstream News

Bodies of seven dogs discovered

BBC Newsfeed - 43 min 43 sec ago
The RSPCA appeals for information after the bodies of seven dead dogs are found at stables, including one who was probably buried alive.
Categories: Mainstream News

Car bomb rocks Mogadishu airport

BBC Newsfeed - 45 min 15 sec ago
At least eight people are killed as a car bomb explodes at Somalia's main airport in Mogadishu, officials say.
Categories: Mainstream News

Saudi website for fatwas closes

BBC Newsfeed - 45 min 53 sec ago
The popular Islam Today website, run by the Saudi cleric Salman al-Awdah, has closed its section offering thousands of Islamic religious rulings.
Categories: Mainstream News

Obama defiant on tax cut stance

BBC Newsfeed - 46 min 57 sec ago
President Obama defends his opposition to extending Bush-era tax cuts for wealthier people and criticises what he calls Republican obstruction.
Categories: Mainstream News

Taliban chief says victory close

BBC Newsfeed - 50 min 10 sec ago
Taliban leader Mullah Omar says his fighters are on the verge of victory in Afghanistan and the Nato-led campaign has been "a complete failure".
Categories: Mainstream News

SA murder rate shows sharp fall

BBC Newsfeed - 52 min 51 sec ago
The murder rate has fallen by 8.6% over the past year in South Africa, the latest statistics show.
Categories: Mainstream News

China U-turn on enforced blackout

BBC Newsfeed - 56 min 51 sec ago
Thousands of people in China are to have their electricity restored after the reversal of an order for enforced power cuts to meet energy-saving goals.
Categories: Mainstream News

Castro doubts over Cuban system

BBC Newsfeed - 59 min 28 sec ago
Cuba's Fidel Castro says the Cuban model no longer works in the latest excerpt from an interview with a US journalist.
Categories: Mainstream News

Riaz to face police questioning

BBC Newsfeed - 1 hour 31 sec ago
Pakistan bowler Wahab Riaz will be questioned by Scotland Yard on 14 September in relation to allegations of corruption.
Categories: Mainstream News

Indian caste census due in 2011

BBC Newsfeed - 1 hour 11 min ago
India's first caste-based census since 1931 will take place next year, the cabinet announces.
Categories: Mainstream News

ISO assigns fonts for satirists, comic writers

NewsBiscuit - 1 hour 12 min ago

In order to avoid confusion and regulate typeface usage across its 163 member states, the International Organization for Standardization (ISO) announced new directives  this morning on the use of fonts in electronic communication with special reference to satire, comedy and sarcasm.

At a press conference in Geneva, the Chair of the ISO’s International Font Committee, Dr Véronique Charrier, said:  “For too long people have been unsure whether the writer was being ironic, satirical or literal. This has led to misunderstandings which in turn have led to on-line rows, broken friendships and mass flouncing.

“Emoticons can be used to indicate that the writer is not serious, but they are not always available, and a more precise system is necessary. ISO 646-15 will address all these issues.”

After 1 January 2011, on-line joke insults should have “bad-ass” umlauts on at least one vowel per swear-word, other ‘just joking’ comments must appear in Comic Sans Serif, irony must appear in Arial Narrow, and Arial Bold will be reserved for sarcasm.

Satire must be recorded in Tahoma if the piece is to be taken literally, and italicized Tahoma if the target of the piece is in fact the people who might hold the opinion expressed in the piece, rather than the one literally being attacked.

Concluding the press conference, a spokesman said: “Now why don’t you fückers do us all a södding favour and just cöck off.”

Categories: Humorous News

Hertz Introduces Short-Term Rental For Just Driving Around To Clear Head

The Onion - 1 hour 12 min ago
PARK RIDGE, NJ—Hoping to win the business of those who just need to get out of the house for a while and clear their heads, the Hertz Corporation unveiled a new service Monday that allows customers to rent a car for as briefly as five minutes.


Categories: Humorous News